In The End
by HarlotQuinn
Summary: ...there is only us. Side by side. Into eternity. I never knew, what you meant to me, until that moment, that I lost you.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Johnny, Devi and Squee all belong to Jhonen Vasquez and Slave Labor Graphics. I'm just making them do stuff. I am making no profit from this story other than the content of the reviews and comments left behind.

A/N: THIS IS NOT RELATED TO "That Shit Called Destiny." I'm going through a lot of crap right now and this fic came to me during a particularly distressed moment. This is not a happy fic folks. Just a fair warning.

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I knew he was following me. He always followed me. I noticed it about a month ago, but I figured as long as he kept his distance, didn't try to harm me or talk to me, I'd let him have his way. Honestly it made me feel a little safer in this shithole of a city we called home. Johnny had a lot of copycat killers now. It was always easy to tell when it was Johnny and when it was someone else. Johnny was precise about his murders, everything was done in a specific way, and he never left any evidence behind, or if he did, they never found it. I had a feeling he could write a confession in blood on the wall and they would still never find him. But the copy-cats, they were always messy, forgetful and stupid. Almost every one of them got caught after their first murder. A few of them even went so far as to rape their victims, sometimes while they were still alive. _That _I knew wasn't Johnny.

I had tested him a few times. Kept my brass knuckles and pocket knife on me while walking into a dark alley, or going into old abandoned houses. He never came to me, he just followed. So after a while, it stopped bugging me. I guess I started to feel flattered. And honestly, I kind of started to fall for him again. It was sweet, in a creepy sort of way.

So one night, when I knew it was going to get chilly and start raining, I left the house without a coat. I decided to do a little shopping, and went into an art store. Sure enough, ten minutes after I walked in the door, there he was. I took my time, looking over canvases and their new selection of paints. I picked up a few things and checked out. As soon as I walked outside it started to rain. "Fuck!" I growled, crossing my arms across my chest as I started walking home. This might have been a mistake, because I was starting to get way colder than I thought I would.I stopped and leaned up against a wall, my teeth chattering and shivering. But he still didn't come near me. With a sigh I pushed away from the wall and stepped out onto the sidewalk, turning around. There he was, and he froze like a deer in the headlights. There wasn't anyone else on the street tonight, so it was just me and him.

"Hi Nny." I said, smiling at him. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, before closing the space between them.

"Devi…" He whispered, his voice caressed my name like it was the last word he would ever speak. I smiled at him, despite my chills. I could see him think for a moment, and then he stripped off his coat off, wrapping it around my shoulders. I smiled and snuggled into the coat.

"I kind of missed you…" I admitted, looking up into his eyes. I could see his smile in the darkness.

"I missed you too…." He said, seemingly hesitant. But he soon seemed to warm. I nodded in he direction of my apartment.

"C'mon, let's get out of the rain."

We walked slowly to my place, despite the rain. We kept bumping into one another, and we would laugh, and keep walking. Eventually I slipped my hand into his, and he stopped. I stopped with him, and turned to him. He didn't let go of my hand. I smiled, and wiped some of the wet hair out of his eyes. I suddenly realized that he was out now in nothing but his fishnet shirt, and he was shaking.

"Oh God, Nny. I'm sorry." I whispered, leaning into him to try to share some warmth. He smiled, but leaned back slightly. I wanted to kiss him, I really did, and as I leaned up….

WHAM!

I screamed and jumped back, a car had just ran up onto the curb. And Johnny was no longer in front of me. I frantically looked around, maybe he got out of the way. The car took off and I shivered, looking down. There he was. legs bent at odd angles, head bleeding. I froze. No.

"Nny!" I yelled, bending down and grabbing his arms, pulling him back against the wall of the abandoned apartment building they were next to. She knelt down, cradling his head. His eyes were slightly open. "Johnny! Can you hear me?!" I yelled, lightly slapping his face. I didn't care that I was getting soaked, I didn't care that my legs were getting drenched in blood. I pressed my fingers to his throat, there was a pulse, it was faint, but it was there. "Johnny! Keep your eyes open baby!" I yelled, slapping his face again.

"Devi…?" Johnny mumbled, looking up at me. i tried to smile as I reached up and pressed my hand to the wound on his head, he winced and took a sharp breath.

"Sorry, but I gotta stop it from bleeding." I whispered, leaning down closer to him. "You're gonna be okay."

"No.. I won't be." He groaned, and spoke again before Icould. "I've got a full set of broken ribs, probably a punctured lung, and my skull is cracked open, I'm losing too much blood…" His voice was faint, and I shook my head, not having any of it.

"I'm gonna call an ambulance," I fished her phone out of my pocket and punched in 9-1-1. The operator answered immediately.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" The woman on the other end said.

"My, uh…. my boyfriend just got hit by a car! He's bleeding really bad and his head is split open."

"Alright ma'am, calm down, please. Where are you?"

"Uh… " I looked around. "Kinnear Ave, right next to the Super Pig Buffet."

"Okay, we're sending help. Try to keep him awake." I hung up the phone and looked down, Johnny had his eyes closed.

"NNY! Nny you have to stay awake!" I shook him softly and his eyes peeked open.

"Devi… you're an angel." He whispered, reaching up and running his fingers across my cheek, leaving a smear of blood behind. I smiled, reaching up and taking his hand. "Devi… I'm sorry about…"

"Shh, don't worry about it. It's okay." I whispered, brushing some more hair out of his eyes, just as they started to slip closed."Johnny!" He jerked slightly, his eyes opening again.

"Devi I-"

"Shhh,"

"I love you." He breathed out, almost like it took everything in him to get those words out. I froze. Not even kind of ready for that. When I had turned around it was to confront him, to see what he would do. Now he's lying in my arms, bleeding to death, and telling me he loves me..And I Knew in her heart in that moment that I loved him too.

"I love you too, Nny." He smiled and squeezed my hand. Cautiously, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. He returned the kiss. It was soft, and gently, and sweet. Everything that a first kiss should be. We held it as long as we could before being forced to breath. And I shifted so both her arms were around him, holding him close.

"Devi," Johnny groaned, and I looked down at him. "Please don't forget me…" He managed to pull pull me to him again, before I could say anything, and gave me one more kiss. I could feel everything he put into it, and it took me a moment to realize he was saying goodbye. I started to pull back just as he went limp in my arms. I breathed in his last breath.

"Johnny!" I yelled, shaking his body. His head lolled around, supported by nothing at this point. I grew frantic, shaking him harder and harder. I checked his pulse, tried CPR, I didn't want to accept that he was gone. Not like that. No. "Johnny please!" I cried, burying my face against his rapidly cooling chest.

This can't be happening. Not after everything already. He can't be dead. I didn't notice as the squad pulled up, and only barely realized that there were people around. Someone tried to guide me away from him, but I held tight.

"Miss, miss we have to put him in the ambulance, you can come with us, but you have to let go." The EMT was calmly whispering to me, and I let go of my grip on Nny's shirt. I watched in numbness as they put him in the body bag and put it in the ambulance. I felt myself being guided to the truck.

Everything was silent on the ride there, I stared at the body bag, like somehow I expected him to pop out of it and yell surprise. For which I would have promptly kicked his ass. But no, he stayed still. Dead. Right in front of me. And the tears pushed at the back of my eyes, begging to be let out. But I stood strong. I refused to let them fall. Not now. Not while I was needed.

When we arrived at the hospital, Johnny was taken immediately down to the morgue, despite my protests, and I was led into a private waiting room. There was a cop there, holding a pad of paper and a pen. I sighed and set down.

"I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances, Miss-?"

"Devi…."

"Devi. I'm Detective Wieinerdink, I'll be investigating this case. You said the victim was struck by a car?" He asked, and I just looked at him like he was a moron.

"Yes."

"Did you see the car?"

"Yes…"

"And what did it look like?" He asked, and I twitched.

"It was two in the fucking morning, I have no idea what it looked like!"

"Alright miss, calm down. How do you know the victim?"

"We were.." I stopped, thinking. What the hell were we? "We were dating…"

"Okay, and does the victim have any other family or friends?" He asked, writing a few things down.

"Not that I'm aware of…" I muttered, forcing tears down my throat. "As far as I know. it's just me."

"I am sorry for your loss." He said as he left the room. It was almost two hours before I saw anyone else. Finally a doctor came in, telling me that the confirmed cause of death was internal bleeding. Assuring me that there was no way I could have stopped it. I could only nod, and he left again. I finally pulled myself home somewhere around noon. Feeling dead inside. He had told me he loved me, and I loved him too. And just as fast as the words left his mouth, he was gone. My heart was left aching. After all we had been through, that was really the way it ended? I shook my head, this couldn't be right. There had to be something else…..

So I went through, and made all of the funeral arrangements myself, even paid for it. It was the least that I could do for the man I love. It was a very small ceremony, only myself and Johnny's little neighbor Todd. I held the child close and he patted my hair while I cried, and we left the cemetery, I dropped him off at home, and then walked into Nny's house.

It was just like I remembered it, filthy, reeking of death, and somehow homey at the same time. I worked my way through, looking over things, picking up random knick-knacks and setting them down again. When I reached his bedroom, I looked through his dresser. There was a Burger Boy sitting on top of it, and something about it made me take a second look. Then I heard _You're Devi, right? _ I blinked, then nodded. "Yes" _Johnny was right, you are beautiful. _I just blushed a bit. _I'm sorry for your loss, but.. you may want to look under the pillow on the bed, I think there's something there you'll want to see._

I turned around, looking at the worn out, but somehow barely used bed. I sat down on it, reaching under the pillow and pulling out a diary. It was well worn too, looking like it had seen better days. I didn't feel right though, this was Nny's private world. I? didn't deserve to know. But as I placed it back in it's spot, a piece of paper fell out. I made to stuff it under the pillow too, but then I saw that it was addressed to me. I couldn't help myself.

_My dearest Devi,_

_You don't know what it does to me to be away from you. I feel like I can't breath without your scent, or see without your beauty. My sweetest angel. _

_If only you could know how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you, I just wanted us to be together forever. Side by side until we were nothing but dust. That's what you mean to me. I wanted to be with you for all eternity. _

_I deserved every kick and punch that you gave me. I was an idiot. I see now that it would have been so much better to have you by my side alive and well. But now you're gone. I see you sometimes though, walking down the street, at the store. And I live for those glimpses. Those few seconds that I feel alive again. _

_I promised to give you my nothing, but I just can't. I can't leave you alone in this world the way that it is. So I promise to give you my all. My life if I have to, to keep you safe._

_Devi, you are my world. I can live only with you, or not at all. You are my light, my life. My love. _

_With all of my heart and soul,_

_Nny_

I didn't realize it, but there were tears streaming down my face. He gave his life protecting me. And I felt… so alone. Like the light and happiness of my life had been sucked away. I realized that I had started living for the glances of him I caught in store windows, the smell of him, something earthy and dark, with a hint of blood. He had become something with which I had scheduled my life.

And in that moment, I realized that my life would never be the same without him. Never be complete. And then, then, I knew that I had to do.

I stalked my way down the stairs, I knew what he kept down here, Todd told me. But it wasn't for killing them that I came, I wanted just one thing, and that was to lie next to him. So I stole a blade, a short, sharp one. And made my way from that house back to the cemetery. They hadn't covered his casket yet, and it was easy enough for me to climb in next to his scrawny frame.

And once I was safe inside that coffin, snuggled up next to my love, I drew that blade across my wrist like a bow across a violin, and I curled myself around him, mumbling words of love to his already empty corpse. And I passed into that deep and permanent slumber next to him. Because I knew that I could never be alive without Johnny C. And he could never be alive without me. And next to him, I passed on, to whatever world awaited me on the other end. But I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would be wherever I ended up. And that would be how we lived out eternity. In one anothers arms, forever.

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A/N: Short but sweet. Remember to R&R, I may post one more chapter if there is enough interest.


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